Happy Australia Day 2012 (On Australian Time)

Today* is Australia Day, which means it is time for my annual “educate my American colleagues and friends about my home country” post. You can read last year’s post here.

I took this photo during our last visit to Australia almost two years ago. Thankfully we have another trip planned for a little later this year. Perhaps I should celebrate Australia day by purchasing a few plane tickets?

But I digress, back to the “educational” component of this post.

Following are some “real” questions submitted to, and answered by, the Australia Tourism Board. (note: source not at all verified, just cited on a few sketchy blogs. If anyone knows the actual source, please post in the comments).

Please read them carefully so you will be fully prepared should you ever decide to visit. Just don’t hold me responsible for the accuracy of the responses.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water…

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which doesn’t … oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is… oh forget it.  Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Finally, I want to share a favourite clip that will clear up any of your confusion around the whole difference between Australia and New Zealand thing.

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY!

I encourage you all to have a beer this evening to celebrate. I plan to celebrate by changing my outlook dictionary to Australian English for the day.

Cheers!

*Australia Day is actually on the 26th of Jan but since it’s already the 26th in Australia, it gives me one more full day of celebration.

Today’s Photo of Wonder Woman and Batman

Wonder Woman and Batman. Wonder Woman tiara and bracelets designed by Thomas (cut out and stapled by me). The purple ribbon is a Magic Lasso. Angry expressions are part of the character (apparently Super Heroes are always angry/intimidating).

Here they are in the invisible jet – not that I can see them of course. I was instructed to take a picture of the empty “sky”.

 

Today’s Photo of Help on The Way

I’m trying to get back into the groove of the office after being away for so what felt like forever – first on vacation and then back-to-back trips to Las Vegas and Seattle. I’ll be spending the day trying to dig out from under my massive to-do list.

Our weekend was quiet, but productive. I spent most of it catching up on laundry while the boys played well together (for the most part). Samuel spent most of the weekend as Wonder Woman, complete with home made tiara and magic bracelets. Thomas built cities out of Lego and blocks. It rained a lot and we barely left the house. Thankfully, our friends dragged us out of hibernation late yesterday afternoon with a football/Karaoke get together (football for the boys and karaoke for the girls). I feel like I’ve been out of touch with everyone for weeks and I’ll be grateful to start getting back into some degree of normalcy.

Before I head off to tackle my pile of work, I’ll share a couple of quick photos that I took during the drive home from Seattle last week. If only they made snow plows that would help dig through to-do lists…

Today’s Photo of a Storm Brewing Over Seattle

If you’ve been following my whining on Twitter, you’ll know that I found myself stuck in Bellevue, WA (just outside Seattle) for a day longer than I anticipated. Thankfully we were able to drive home yesterday during a brief break in the snow and freezing rain. I hear that I-5 is now closed halfway between Portland and Seattle – at the same location where we stopped briefly for lunch, the power went out and a tree fell across the freeway onramp, all within the span of 20 minutes.

So, I count myself lucky that I didn’t find myself spending the weekend. As much as I love Seattle, I love my family more and I was VERY tired of looking at the walls of my hotel room while ice literally rained from the sky.

They were warning about snow when I took this photo of Seattle from the windows of our Bellevue office on Monday.

Today’s Photos of Not Quite a Snowstorm

It’s nice to look back at these photos I took on Sunday and laugh at the innocent naivety of children who think they were actually experiencing a snowstorm.

No kids, that wasn’t a snowstorm.

A snowstorm is what your mother is experiencing right now as she sits in an office in Bellevue, WA, obsessively watching the weather reports for signs that the roads will clear up just a little so she can return home today.

Of course if I lived in Ohio right now I’d be saying “that’s not a snowstorm…”

Today’s Photo of Some Very Special Help at the Grocery Store

Today’s Photos of a Teeny Tiny Karate Kid

This year we decided to enroll Thomas in Karate lessons. The lessons fall during his after school program at 2:30pm so it has been difficult for me to get away on a Friday and watch him in action. Thankfully he has been very willing to show us his  moves at home, but still it’s not quite the same as seeing him in full “Gi”, the official name for the white shirt and pants. (It’ short for “Karatagi” – I had to look that up).

One thing that was apparent as soon as I started taking photographs is how very small he is when you stand him next to a couple of 4th grade girls.

I supposed it’s a good thing he’s developing a few self defense moves if only to protect him from giants.

Thankfully there are some kids on his level.

Thomas has told us a few times that he wants to quit Karate. The problem is that it’s during his after school care time and going to Karate means that he misses out on snack time and outside time and basically anything-that’s-fun time.

 

It’s only once a week (although for 90 minutes) and I plan to keep encouraging him to stick with it for a few reasons:

1. It’s good discipline and encourages concentration and focus
2. It will help him feel as though he can stand up to giants if the situation ever presents itself. (self defense only, of course)
3. It’s a wonderful way to connect with his Japanese culture and the rituals that surround it.

Of course, the only thing that’s motivating Thomas right now is the promise of a yellow belt at his first belt test and a new fascination with Ninjas.

Today’s Photo Proves that NOBODY Gets out of Brushing Their Teeth…

…not even Superheroes

Today’s Photos of Chinese Lanterns Hanging in Fake Venice in Las Vegas

Today’s Photos From The Air

This next one reminds me of the song they used to play during the opening credits of Weeds. “Little boxes on the hillside…”